Good grief.
I think maternity leave should begin the minute you find out you’re pregnant. I don’t think people realize how hard it is to function normally AND be pregnant. My brain is so all over the place and I feel insanely stressed out about little things. My mind is always thinking “baby” and everything else just takes a major back seat.
Work is soooooo hard now! I love my job but it’s so hard to care right now. I listen to people’s problems all day and often i find myself day dreaming or in the back of mind thinking, “wow. I could care less.” and then I snap back, OMG! I’m a horrible social worker! I also have to plan my day around Keelyn’s active times. There is no way I can get any work done when she’s rolling around kicking me. I get way too distracted! Either that or I have to pee. Sitting at my desk all day causes her to sit right on my bladder, so I get up and walk around the office every few hours to let her move to a different spot.
Everyone at work is so super cool though. I couldn’t ask for better. Everyone wants to know how big she is, or what she’s doing and how I’m feeling. It’s kind of like she’s been adopted by all of them. And for the most part my clients and their families have been super cool too, and letting me do somethings to get ahead.
I honestly could care less about the shape my house is in and cleaning it is the last thing on my mind. I really try to keep up on it though because i don’t like having a messy house, but it wears me out. And I’ve become so hermit like. Friends call me to hang out and I just don’t want to. I want to stay home and be with Ryan, doing nothing. In the beginning I would get so bummed staying home all the time, and cry because “now that i’m pregnant, all my non-preggers friends could care less”, but now I like the quiet. And no drama. I have my small circle of friends who we still do things but going out just isn’t high my to-do list. I go to bed around 9pm, because if I stay up any later I’m a walking zombie anyway and sleep just sounds so good to me.
Food is also becoming so weird for me. I am not above junk food, but now I find myself staring into our pantry and wishing there was something healthier in there. I’m LOVING rice krispies right now and it seems to be all I eat because everything else is just so unhealthy. We go eat somewhere and I’m always in a constant state of “i don’t know”. I have my select menu and I stick to it religiously so when we run out I have no idea what to do! Nothing else sounds good to me. And I don’t “enjoy” food nearly as much as I used to. I’m always thinking about if it’s cooked properly or what is this going to do to my baby.
Sorry for the utter random, this is pretty much my brain every day. Anyway, this has gone on enough and my insomnia is wearing off.
